Turning Worry into Trust

2015 hasn’t started out to be a good year with regards to my health.  I fell victim to the flu and cold right after the New Year’s celebration and spent almost a week trying to clear my clogged head, and deciding whether I was hot or cold.  But by the weekend I was well enough to tackle the trimming of some overgrown flowering hedges.  That evening, I realized that chore might have been a mistake.  My body was not happy with that pruning job and began what is now my 9th week of sciatica.  A Medrol Dose pack, muscle relaxants, and anti-inflammatories have not abated the pain or the need to walk with a limp.  I look like a cross between Igor and the Hunch Back of Notre Dame.  My hip feels like it’s got a nut and bold tightened too tight for me to do the simplest tasks like getting into the passenger side of a car.  And putting on a sock and shoe on my left foot causes me to huff and puff and moan and groan.   The neighbors are talking…

The doctor gave me a choice of steroid shots or physical therapy.  Like the coward that I am, I chose the PT.  While I waited for the PT appointment I began to worry.  Would I be able to continue the work God was calling me to do?  Would I be able to take care of the house?  Take care of my husband?  Would I be able to enjoy the trips we had planned to do now that we are retired?  Can I handle the pain without affecting my emotional, spiritual, and physical self?  Worry, worry, worry…  I had my future planned and it didn’t look pretty.

And then I heard God’s word:

 and Jehovah will guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in dry places, and make strong thy bones; and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.  Isaiah 58:11American Standard Version (ASV).  This scripture made clear three things: 1) God is leading me, step by step. 2)  He will bring peace throughout each and every adversity. 3)  He will make me strong.

I could use strong bones right now, Lord.

And then I thought of Jesus.  For through His sacrifice we know that physical healing is not what it is about (John 3:16).  I realized that God will use us in any and all circumstance and even with our limited body movements.  Although my physical limitations may grow and interfere with the plans I have made, it is God’s plans that will flourish throughout this adversity.

Sigh.  Deep breath.  Calm begins to replace the static and panic I feel.

I’m placing my worries where they ought to be – at the feet of God.  I have been in this place before and God has always been by my side.  As long as I let go of my worry and hold onto God’s presence in my life I can trust that God will carry me through whatever this pain turns out to be.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6


Comments (0)

  1. Very uplifting. Tells us like it is while letting us know “we’re not going it alone” If the pain takes it’s time subsiding we know there’s a purpose.

    March 8, 2015 at 6:49 pm

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