Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and…realizing you were the prisoner!
– Max Lucado
Our past has a way of influencing our future especially when it houses the hurts that foster habits and hang-ups that separate us from others and living life to its fullest.
Time and time again we visit those places as proof that we must remain distant in our relationships in order to avoid pain. I have nursed many a hurt trying to justify why I would no longer be a part of an organization or a friendship. It’s really fear that nurtures that response, isn’t it? Fear of getting hurt. Fear of not being in control. Ahhh – control! Yup, that’s me. I experienced hurt in my early life when I was too young to control what was happening. I have spent most of my life looking for ways to be in control so that I might feel safe. Fear of people letting us down, fear that they will use our weaknesses against us; causing us to further recoil and isolate ourselves. Been there. Done that.
The fear of pain and possible disloyalty causes us to withdraw till we find ourselves alone and lonely, alienated and shut off from life as well as the vivid color that friendships and relationships can provide. Rather than protecting ourselves from pain we are actually allowing the snake of Satan to coil around us and eventually choke us to death. Good or bad, these relationships can become gifts or lessons turning grief into growth.
How do we open ourselves up despite the fear of getting hurt? Make the decision to let it go by expressing your pain and whatever role you may have played in it. Forgive those that have caused you pain and forgive yourself. Then focus on the present and the joy that still surrounds your life. Understand that closing yourself off from others will not make you any happier; in fact the opposite is true. So take the lessons and know that in time you will heal. It starts with small steps by reaching out to someone you feel might take your friendship as the special gift it is. Know that in all relationships there is risk but there is also much to be gained.
Opening oneself may allow pain but trusting God to turn all that pain into His purpose allows us to become resilient, stronger and open to all.
While we live uncertain of when the next hurt may strike; trusting God can bring an intimacy and love in a life that begs for living and surpasses anything we might have ever dreamed of. For me, I choose to open the door to living life at its fullest. Will you join me?
When have you wanted to close yourself off from people in fear of hurt? How did you overcome your hurt? Was there someone special that came into your life that helped you learn to love and be open again?
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.