Is the Devil Calling or God?
Are you like me? Can’t wait to go to bed because you are so tired but find you bladder and brain keep you up all through the night? I am not a good sleeper. I have read all the books, taken all types of sleep aids, and followed a strict bedtime routine to no avail.
My bladder starts about two hours after I fall asleep threatening to break the dam if I don’t get up. The thought of clean up at 12:30 am propels me to get up. Then it has the audacity to take its own sweet time. I am on my third medication for this and doesn’t seem to be helping much. I could resort to having Botox injections every 6-8 months or placing a small device implanted in my lower back to send mild electrical impulses to the sacral nerves. No thank you. I won’t do Botox on my face. I certainly am not going to do it -you know where! And I already have a cardiac pace maker and I am beginning to feel like a Star Trek Borg.
If my bladder isn’t banging on the inner walls of the sanctum; then my brain is like a freight train that’s gone off the rails with disconnected, diverse thoughts traveling at high speeds. Sometimes, they are frivolous, even flighty fancies that are so unimportant that I find myself fascinated that my mind is even pursuing this train of thought. Sometimes it’s the following days events, or heavier cargo that I have been carrying for some time that just seems to show up on the manifest that is my brain.
And so it goes every two hours or so. If perchance I sleep for 3-4 hours straight I feel like Super Woman! Those nights are a gift.
It frustrates me because I am not a nice person with only 4-5 hours of sleep – I seem to lose my religion. At night, I seem to sleep in two hour increments and by 5 at the latest my mind forces my tired body to commence with the day.
I am trying to figure out if its God urging me to spend more time with Him or the devil using it as a strategy to wear me down till I grouse and complain and make everyone want to get off the run away Loretta Train.
I reject the notion that God is the cause of suffering. God loves us and His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us. However, he is not beyond using these “opportunities” to spend time with Him and for Him to strengthen us.
We must take the time to stop the noise in our heads and listen for the Holy Spirit to come into our minds and heart. Turning to the word of God to worship Him will remove Satan’s hold and find peace.
Is this you? If it is, you are not alone. It’s not Satan holding your hand. Its our Lord and Savior. It’s Jesus. Hold tight and rest in His arms.
“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.