“What goes around, comes around”.
I began life with elongated tendons in my feet. This required heavy, steel braces to be worn for the first three years of life. I’m talking steel from back in the 50’s. Heavy, large and making it difficult for me to walk and sleep. My mother carried me a lot those first three years.
But God bless my mother because having had two children before me, she knew my feet were not right even though doctor after doctor told her that she was being neurotic and what we now call a “helicopter parent”. If not for her persistence, I would never have walked. And God bless the American doctor in Brazil who recognized the problem and set about to fix it.
Now I find myself 71 years later having issues with my feet again. And it feels like the cycle of life repeating itself. This time it’s the left foot which has a fallen arch due to scar tissue and arthritis from a ganglion cyst removal in my 20’s. It is pushing the bones in my foot down through the bottom of my foot. Surgery is the true cure with orthotics being a good stop gap. Surgery will require a long recuperation time to repair the problem. I can choose when to do this and the orthotics are helping with the discomfort.
The real question is do I have the strength and ability? This surgery will require me to be off my left foot for two months and then in a boot for two more months. Thoughts swirl around in my head when sleep eludes me. They say I can drive with my right foot but I will need to use a knee roller or crutches to get to the car. I practically killed myself with the crutches when I had the ganglion cyst removed and I was young and able! Can Thad load the equipment in the car as I hop into the driver seat? We will be exhausted and require a nap before we even pulled out of the garage. Then there is the whole bathroom endeavor. Can I lift myself with my right leg off the commode? Believe me, I have been practicing during those mid night and early morning potty trips. Anecdotally I am also my husband’s primary caregiver. He can no longer drive and needs a little help with dressing and is a bit wobbly on his feet due to neuropathy. It really feels like a conundrum and the type A personality in me is endlessly trying to figure it out and planning…
Its funny how life is. We wonder the purpose of things that happen in our lives and we wonder why. We beg God to take our issues away. “ Oh, God, you have to take this away because I need to be mobile, I need to take care of my family, I can’t handle the pain anymore” and the list goes on.
Have you been there? Are you there now?
I know He hears our prayers because He has answered so many. Sometimes though, He whispers “I won’t take it away, but I’ll take you through it”. And I have felt Him with me during those storms.
I can plan all I want but it is faith that will see me through. I have experienced this over and over again. So what I remind myself is not for God to take this season away but that my prayers align with God’s will for me.
And it is these thoughts that bring me peace. Every time I revert back to my fears I remind myself of God’s promises. He will be there beside us – even as we balance on one foot while making our way to and from the bathroom 3-4 times a night. He hears us. He sees us. And we can be reassured.
Romans 8:31-21,38-39
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?… 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.