Road Work

I don’t want people to look at me and say “Boy, she’s had a little work done (plastic surgery)”.  You all know what I mean.  I live in Boca Raton where having plastic surgery is done as often as people cut their toenails.  However, people probably look at me and think “Boy, she needs to have a little work done!”

But I have had work done just not by choice.  I sported braces on my legs from the age of 9 months to 3 years.  I have had a lummpectomy to remove breast cancer, a coronary artery bypass to unclog my arteries, and a hysterectomy to remove bleeding fibroids, cysts, and a benign tumor.

Do you think I would choose and pay to go through this pain?  The thought of having any elective work done is too exhausting for words.   So I will live with my sagging breasts that are in a race with my thighs to see who can get to my ankles first.  I can live with droopy eyelids – when they are bad enough I will use clip-on earrings to hold my eyelids to I can see.  Who knows-I might start a trend.  I can also live with my “basset hound” jowls – they remind me of my favorite uncle and reaffirm that love sees only beauty despite crevices, folds, and wrinkles in the flesh of our bodies.

My scars and wrinkles are great proof of the stories (some great and some gruesome) that shaped me (quite literally!) and made me.  I don’t want to pay good money to hide behind society’s view of perfection when I can embrace my journey and share my story.  Who knows, it might just help someone overcome their addiction to perfection.

More importantly, the work I have had done is more on the inside of my body than what I wear on the outside.  And it’s the only work I am interested in at this time.  I have had work to help heal some of my hurts, habits, and hang ups that I tried to use to comfort me.  More work came in learning to love people where they’re at and not where I want them to be and to let go of the control I really don’t have nor want anymore.  I have accepted Christ as my savior and learned that I am a beloved child of God, called and sent to make a difference in the world not for how I look, but how I live.  And by the grace of God, He continues to work not on me, but in me.   I am learning to grow in my faith rather than dwell on the condition of my figure.

Will Rogers said it best “Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me.  I want people to know why I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved!”

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