Who is This Person?

I have spent 64 years with this person.  I thought I knew exactly who she was.

In the recent years I have noticed that who she is not who I am.  The things that I loved to do I am no longer good at.  Things like cake decorating, crocheting, relaxed me.  Now they frustrate me and my work is inconsistent and a disappointment.  The Blue’s Clues Children’s cake I made for my oldest  grandsons’s 3rd birthday had the mailbox leaning to the left like someone had hit it with a car.  And when I lost count of my stitches in making my crotchet blankets, it became a blanket for the dogs.  Cooking and creating feasts were fun, now they require grocery lists, To Do Lists, and notes on times to cook and execute which inevitably goes array as soon as the first guest arrives.   Organizing groups, running my own company, being in leadership roles gave me a thrill and made me feel accomplished and good about myself.  I was the multi tasker extraordinaire!    Now, organizing groups, and being in leadership roles absolutely frighten me.  Simple things like going up and down an escalator, being in a noisy and packed room creates a cacophony of panic and chaos within me.

And then there are the changes in my body.  For instance, I have been applying make-up since I was 16 and yet the make-up no longer goes on the same.  The wrinkles cause squiggly lines where they shouldn’t be, the mascara (no matter what the brand) ends up pooling at the corners of my eyes.  And don’t get me started on my hair – .  The same techniques and products that were fail safe no longer save me  looking like a cross between a harlot and an old lady.

What is going on with this person I thought I knew?

I am a foreigner in a new country.  This country is aging and I have got to get to know her again.  It’s time to go on a discovery mission.  I am not depressed about it.  Actually, its caused some funny moments.  God knows I have come to terms with the natural aging process; it’s just how to live with the new person that has me stymied.  As we get older its harder to embrace change because frankly, the mind and the body just ain’t what they used to.

I think it’s God’s way of keeping us on our toes and constantly learning.  If that’s so, the one thing I have gained while feeling a loss for other things is a wisdom that has accrued during all the mayhem and havoc of the past.  And it has enabled me to pass that wisdom on in ways I could never have done.  Because frankly, I was just too young to know and appreciate it.

I know that whatever this new season is, with it comes learning, challenges and opportunities to look for God’s messages on how to shine His light through my life.   I can relish the past while I search for a comfortable place to be as I trustingly hobble into the future.

So, I’m puzzled and befuddle and not quite sure how to proceed.  Do I fix it?  Do I accept it?  I’m beginning to think it’s a melding of both repair and acceptance?  What do you think?

Please share how you cope with the aging process.  Do you have a product(s) that you swear by?  Do you do anything to save your sanity?  Please share.  We are all in this together at one time or another.


Thank you for reading my post.  If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it.  Feel free to comment here or even re-blog – may these words take flight!

I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts.  To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com

Blessings for Health & Wellness.


Comments (8)

  1. Loretta .. You are right on. I was also living a very active, challenging life and then all of a sudden it changed. I agree, what used to be fun is now a chore. Oh my, the hair the wrinkles and the body… I guess I have to learn a way to live with it. MaybeI I will try to compromise… less control and more “keeping it simple”

    November 22, 2019 at 7:11 am
    1. We have to make the best out of what we have and try to laugh at the foibles and fears as they present themselves. But I firmly believe that with the good Lord besides us, we can snub our fingers to the devils try to make us feel bad and say “Satan, get behind me!” It’s good to know I am not alone. Thanks for sharing, my friend.

      November 22, 2019 at 11:12 am
  2. Loretta, About 6 or more years ago, I noticed a few of my girlfriends elected to let their gray hair grow out. It wasn’t a big deal to us. I was quite grey and the brown hair color seemed to run out every 2 weeks. The color was so dull. I figured at that rate when I went natural it would be a huge change so I went natural with my dark salt and pepper hair. Yes, it was a shock for a week or so but SSSooo freeing. And no more cancer causing chemicals directly on my brain. I don’t wear makeup and care for our farm animals with ease for 3 hours every morning. My short hairstyle is casual, to show off my natural waves. When we travel, its so easy to pack and relax. I have insomnia so I don’t drink coffee or caffeinated soda. I find I’m more sensitive to my husbands snores, so I sleep in the guest room if I’m wide awake at 1 or 2 am and take benedryl. I may have to get used to ear plugs when we’re on a cruise. I get a sports massage monthly as a tuneup for my body and make time to laugh a lot while watching tv nightly with my husband and daughter. We no longer watch scary shows. We’ve discovered an awful lot of great mysteries on channel 15, the public tv channel. Who knew? I connect with positive people. Negative people are exhausting. And I’m grateful for my life, even with all its surprising plot twists. Laurel Leary

    November 22, 2019 at 5:42 pm
  3. Laurel, so glad you shared your routine and steps to sanity, and simple abundance. I am finding that if you go with the flow, life is better. I have been simplifying my make up and the hair, while I am still coloring it (the grey looks awful with my ruddy red complexion, it is short and sweet! We, too, enjoy mysteries and comedies and work hard to use humor to deflect stress. It works! Many blessings for health and wellness.

    November 22, 2019 at 5:48 pm
    1. Hi Loretta, I know you’ve had a journey with cancer. I wanted to tell you about Camp Kesem. It’s a college student-run camp for children who have a parent or guardian affected by cancer. They are free for the child and run about 6 days in the summer. Age 6 to 16. There are 125 chapters in 44 states. We have about 5 in Florida. I’m a retired R.N. and was talked into being their camp nurse by a friend in 2012. I have been a camp nurse 6 times now. I’ve been Camp Nurse Bones for U.F. 5 times and U.S.F. once. If you know any nurses or mental health professionals who like kids, this is so much fun and very rewarding. I’ve been on 2 church mission trips and neither touched my heart like Camp Kesem. They open up registration for returning campers in Dec and new kids in Jan. Slots fill fast. Once a camp grows over the years and takes 125 kids, nationals makes them split into 2 weeks. It’s much easier to take care of 22 campers, 2 nurses, 1 mental health counselor and about 20 counselors than 200 people. Camps are all over Fla, U. Miami, USF, FSU, UF and I think F Gulf Coast U. I like the camps nearby, in Umatilla. Its unpaid so you can write it off on your taxes or get paid $250. We do the tax thing. I also bring my golf cart so we can zip around faster. CampKesem.com I thought you could help spread the word. They have a hard time finding nurses and mental health professionals. The latter need a masters in psych or are a social worker. It was so much easier this year with a new, start up college with only 22 kids (USF), I had an epiphany, I could do 2 camps every summer, as long as they are small groups. And I have a week in between to recuperate. We are talkers, Loretta, we can help people through this camp. I plan to return and help Camp Kesem USF next summer. One of our former campers at UF is leading the team, Zazu. That’s how it works, the circle keeps getting bigger and bigger. Thank you, Laurel Leary

      November 23, 2019 at 6:55 pm
  4. Laurel, why have I not heard of this before? What a wonderful organization. I am happy to put a link on my Resource Page with a description of all that Camp Kesem does. The impact these two weeks can have on a child whose parent or family member affected by cancer cannot be measured. In the future, I would like to write a blog post about it and bring awareness to how we can help. Its also so wonderful to utilize college students to help with. Thank you for sharing Laurel. And stay tuned!

    November 24, 2019 at 7:06 am
  5. I can relate! First after an episode of shingles in my eye there is no more mascara. But if i want dark lashes, I have them tinted! Done by a professional, they last around 3-4 months!

    December 14, 2019 at 6:25 am
  6. Shingles in your eyes?! Sounds awful. Tinted eyelashes – thats a great idea! Who knew! Thanks for sharing.

    December 14, 2019 at 6:57 am

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