What is Sex?
Sex. Yes, I want to talk about sex. Sex as it relates biblically, and as it elates to us at various times in our lives.
I’ll be honest, God placed this thought in my mind months ago and I kept moving it later on in my calendar. But no matter how the months flew by, sex kept coming up. Ever noticed how God does that? A nudge here, a nudge there.
What is sex and what does the bible say about sex? The bible actually says a lot about sex. God made us to be sexual creatures – to be between a male and female connecting by love as husband and wife. Sex in the bible is first and foremost about intimate friendship. Don’t miss this, my friends. Sex is first about friendship and the basis for a good sex life. Its about “cleaving” to your God-given other and becoming one in the flesh. But its more than just physical; the bible sees it as emotional and spiritual as well. It is about the woman submitting to the man AND the man submitting to his woman in exploration, discovery and delight.
Sex is natural for all human being but not necessary. When Paul was asked about celibacy his response was that marriage was a general rule (1Corinthians 7:2); the need to be generous and reciprocal in the marriage bed (1 Corinthians 7:3-4) and the need for married couples to have sex regularly (1 Corinthians 7:5).
So now we have established what sex is. God has blessed me with a husband who has made me feel loved like no one else and we are privileged to have shared many intimate moments during the past 50 years of marriage.
In the early years they were energized, physically expending ourselves to the point of exhaustion. During the child bearing and rearing years we found ourselves neglecting our intimacy but there was a resurgence of passion when our daughter became independent and especially when she “flew the coop”!
Now, those of you that know me, know that I am no longer a spring chicken and therefore I am not consumed with the thoughts that young love brings to mind consistently, often and without pause. Sex changes over time, doesn’t it? And it changes at different times for each of us.
Our bodies change and with it come changes in our sex life. As we age, the aches and pains, surgeries and our bodies themselves can’t always do what and how we enjoyed doing “it”. Sometimes sex dissipates because of our maladies and we must remember that the bible tells us that we can be fully human while not having sex. Here are just a few people of the bible that never shared in the joys of sex: Jesus, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, Elijah or the Apostle Paul (for most of his life).
There was a time when we were being intimate and Thad moved a certain way and developed a cramp in his leg. When I went to shift position I developed a cramp as well. It was an amazing feat trying to extricate ourselves out of bed to walk off our cramps. The thought came to mind that we would need to pre-soak in a bathtub of Thera Worx Relief prior to engaging in sex!
Or how about the time when we were both so spent from all the surgery, driving to testing appointments and doctor’s appointments that when we went to bed that night we decided to just hold hands. When Thad went to hold my hand, my carpel tunnel made me scream in pain. Poor guy! He felt so bad! But pain gave way to humor as we howled in laughter. I told Thad “There goes the sex life – its officially over!”.
So yes, our bodies change but friendship stays alive when we have nurtured its first bud to full bloom throughout our relationship.
Sex becomes more about friendship and intimacy of the mind, and being God’s hands and feet as we traverse this life together towards eternity. There is no wrong or right way for a husband and wife to share in sex. It’s being one in friendship and intimacy in thoughts and emotions and less about the physical interaction.
I have always felt intimate with Thad when we are deep in conversation, lost in each other thoughts and ideas. It was that intimacy that led to sex. Recently during his 5 month ordeal with his shoulder and his inability to care for himself physically I became his right hand and arm as he showered and dressed himself. As he and I were in the shower together and I was washing him clean, I felt an intimacy I had not felt in a while and not unlike the early days of our marriage – just without the physical gymnastics!
I realized that just like a person who has lost their sight – other senses become heightened. The act of holding each other’s hands, sitting on a park bench, giving each other a much needed hug or yes, even bathing your loved one becomes an act of great intimacy, love and becoming one in the flesh.
And this friendship, this love, this closeness, this intimacy are good and precious gifts to the glory of God and the comfort of humankind.
How as your intimacy changed over the years? How have you been able to keep the love and friendship alive? Share so others may join in the conversation
Source: Paul Carter, TGC, August 15, 2018, 5 Surprising Things That the Bible says about Sex, hhtps??ca.thegospelcoalitition.org/columns/ad-fontes/5-surprising-things-that-the-bible-says-about-sex/
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.