A Gift for After I am Gone
Notice when you are young you never think about when you are gone. But throw in a coronary artery bypass, a few rounds of cancer, some orthopedic surgeries to replace worn out parts and you spend quite a bit of time thinking about “after you’re gone”. I have done a bit of that. Ok, a lot of that. But then I have experienced a lot of medical mayhem to make me think of “after I am gone”. Meeting with pastors, lawyers, and financial planners can get you head and your heart aching for peace. Ugh! Who wants to think – let alone talk about this stuff, right?
But think and talk, we must. Having grown up in south Florida, we know the importance of preparing for hurricanes whenever they seem to be coming our way. There were times when we took boards or shutters off windows we had covered in response to hurricane threats that never happened. Yet when they did, we were always happy that we prepared. Like preparing for a hurricane, it pays to be prepared when it comes to our health. Like a hurricane, you never know when the next health care challenge might strike you or a loved one. Do you have an advance directive in place? Who will be your caregiver if you need one? Have all the adults in your family discussed their end-or-life wishes with one another?
While I did talk to all the parties that needed to be involved in my making informed decisions; I found an organization that helped me compile the emotional, spiritual side as well as the medical and legal issues that needed sorting out.
I found a website called Five Wishes – https://www.fivewishes.org/about-five-wishes/ Five Wishes is the first living will that talks about your personal, emotional and spiritual needs as well as your medical wishes. It lets you choose the person you want to make health care decisions for you if you are not able to make them for yourself. Five Wishes lets you say exactly how you wish to be treated if you get seriously ill. It was written with the help of the nation’s leading experts in end-of-life care. It’s also easy to use. All you have to do is check a box, circle a direction, or write a few sentences.
How did Five Wishes begin? For 12 years, Jim Towey worked closely with Mother Teresa, and, for one year, he lived in a hospice she ran in Washington, DC. Inspired by this first-hand experience, Mr. Towey sought a way for patients and their families to plan ahead and to cope with serious illness. The result is Five Wishes.
What are the Five Wishes?:
- Who do I want to make my health care decisions for me in case I cannot make them for myself?.
- What kind of medical treatment do I want or not want.
- How comfortable do I want to be.
- How I want people to treat me.
- What I want my loved ones to know
So why did I choose Five Wishes even after I had already spoken with my pastor, lawyer and financial planner? Because I needed something in laymen’s language making it easy for me to understand. It covers all the areas in one document, guiding me step by step through the process. It allows for my family to know exactly what my wishes are on all levels: again medically, spiritually, legally, and personally, making it easier for them when the end of my life is near and/or I am unable to voice those wishes myself. And most importantly, it is legally valid in nearly every state.
You don’t have to be digitally savvy. You can do either digitally or on paper. The cost is minimal but the peace of mind is priceless. And not just for me but for my husband and daughter.
I don’t promote products on my website and I don’t plan to start. But recently I have lost and nearly lost several members of my family. Each time it made me face my own mortality and what I wanted for myself and my family. Each time, I found myself reaching for my Five Wishes document to review (I have both digital and hard copy) and it provided me with comfort and the opportunity to make changes.
Look, we are all caregivers, whether we are parents to our children or become parents to our parents or even to our spouses. At some point in life, everyone becomes a caregiver.
Like hurricanes, we can’t plan for everything. Even the best of plans do not allow us to escape all the pain. We can never know what disaster will plague us next. But having a plan in place that is easy to read and to execute is a lot better than scrambling when medical mayhem strikes. Your plan is the boat that will help you and your family navigate the stormy waters of heath care issues.
Will you take some time to think about what your five wishes? Whether you use the Five Wishes program or create your own; I hope you do because you will find such a sense of relief knowing you have made your loved ones life easier and yours as well.
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.