Lord, I Believe. Help my Unbelief.
On a recent visit to NY for a family christening we experienced everything from summer weather to a winter storm. The first two days were mild with sunny weather and a high of 70. But the last two days the temperatures dropped; turning rain into sleet and then snow as we found ourselves with a snow storm in April!
My daughter, husband and infant grandbaby were to go into NYC to meet some friends for the opening game of the Yankees. Having lived the past 38 years in FL I was very nervous and my sister in law and I (consummate grandmothers and perpetual worry warts) were praying that the game would be cancelled. We lifted up prayers to God asking for him to “Please, please cancel the game!” I know, I know, all you die hard Yankees and baseball fans are horrified, but when it comes to safety of your kids and grandkids, a grandmother knows no bounds. Answered prayers – the game was cancelled.
To my dismay, they decided to go into NYC anyway and drove the two hours to meet their friends amidst the sleet, snow and rain. While I would have preferred they stay snug as a bug in a rug with their cousins in the town of Fishkill, I wasn’t worried until the day turned into night and at 10 pm and they were on the NYC subway heading back to their car to begin the two hour drive back to Fishkill. We were on our way back to Florida. On the drive from the Ft Lauderdale airport to our home I began checking the weather reports for NY and started to worry. The mother in me worried that they might have had too much to drink, were tired and maybe should have spent the night in the city. The grandmother in me worried that it was just too much for an infant. As we settled into bed, my husband texted to see how they were doing. No answer. Now, my mind was racing, feelings vacillated between fear and frustration and I will admit anger. In the darkness of the room I asked my husband to call their cell phones. No answer! Warp drive worry ensued and sleep eluded me.
As I laid in bed, I played tug of war with God-giving up my fear and worry for God’s peace only to take it back and continue the rampage that ran through my head. I needed to place my worry in God’s hands and leave it there. I needed to trust in Him. Whatever the outcome, God would provide the strength needed to deliver my family out of mishap and mayhem.
I prayed to the Father to place a hedge of protection around my family and should trouble abound, that He send angels to meet their needs. I sighed in resignation, resting in the words of Psalm 23:4: Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
A text interrupted my prayer: “Back at the hotel. Getting Ryker settled. You okay?”
“Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24)