Can I Order a To-Go Cup of Sleep, Please?

You would think I had a newborn in the house with how little I sleep.  I haven’t slept through the night in about ten years.  And it’s only getting worse.  I have no problem falling to sleep but cannot remain asleep.

When I do manage a full 5-6 hours I am a totally different being – I go from Oscar the Grouch to Happy in Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs. It’s amazing what a solid block of sleep can do for a person.

Over 8 years ago I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and now fashionably wear a CPAP Mask to bed.  My heart no longer pauses but apparently insomnia has taken up residence.

I have read books and consulted with my Sleep Disorder Physician.  I have removed all electronics from our bedroom, don’t read or watch TV before bed, assumed a nightly ritual, diffuse lavender, meditate on a phrase, and do breathing and relaxation exercises.  I refrain from napping during the day and before bedtime – which is often really, REALLY hard to do.  And if I stay awake too long, I get up from bed and go sit at the computer and do Facebook or read something.  I even do some writing.  Sometimes, I watch the sun rise from the window in front of my desk.  But sit me down to watch TV the next night and I can be out like a candle in a hurricane.

I have taken shots of Nyquil, ingested Nyquil Z’s, Melatonin, Sleep 3, Trazadone, Advil PM, Tylenol PM, Aleve, Unisom, and routinely take Magnesium.  Everything puts me to sleep – I just don’t stay asleep.  Either because of an over active bladder or just because – sleep has been playing hide and seek with me.   And I don’t want to play this game anymore.

Last night, for the first time, I couldn’t fall asleep.  After what seemed like forever (I don’t know how long because I put my alarm clock face down), I got up and took two Nyquil Z’s and then fell asleep for 2 hours before awakening. And was up every two hours after that….

I’m totally undone today.  Well, not totally, but definitely disgusted.  This usually Positive Paulina is a Negative Nadine and I don’t like it.

I am starting to think Michael Jackson had the right idea because I have some of the best sleep when they give me Propofol or surgery.  Except I really would like to stick around to watch my grandsons grow up to be young adults.

So I am reaching out to my readers.  Do you have problems sleeping?  Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep?  What has helped you get a good night’s sleep?  Or what do you do when you can’t sleep?   Clean house, read a book, count sheep?

And if you, like me, can’t sleep – give me a call.  I’m probably up anyway.


Thank you for reading my post.  If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it.  Feel free to comment here or even re-blog – may these words take flight!

I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts.  To order a copy or learn more go to my website at

Blessings for Health & Wellness.

Comments (2)

  1. Hi Loretta,
    I feel your frustration, I too have a sleep disorder. I find it difficult to fall asleep and also staying asleep. If it wasn’t for 1 Benadryl tab every night I wouldn’t get the 5 hours. The good news…God usually has some great info to share❤️

    May 27, 2019 at 2:31 am
  2. Thanks, Harmony. Yes, God and I have many a discussion and that is the blessing in all of this. I just wish we could share during the day time hours! Blessings to you.

    May 27, 2019 at 6:29 am

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