On September 11of this year, I catapulted over a piece of wood that I used to keep our little Liesl from using the two guest room carpets as a pee-pee pad. I subluxated my left hip – which means it started to dislocate, but then went back into position. It wasn’t in great shape to begin with having been dislocated twice before. While an x-ray showed no fractures or dislocations, it earned me two weeks on a walker, two weeks on a cane, and currently sporting a bit of a limp and a whole lot of fear.
This little event, while not nearly as serious as the history of our country on that day, has had major ramifications for me. For one, I am not healing near as fast as I have in the past. This is a side effect from getting old I am sure. I healed faster with each of my two hip replacements. Three days after surgery I was dragging my walker behind me where I went. Of course, Thad being ever so cute, asked if I knew how to use the walker. I replied that while I didn’t really need the walker to walk; I felt I should have it with me – just in case. Well, after my catapult – I NEEDED the walker for two solid weeks. And even then, I took little old lady shuffle steps taking me forever to get anywhere. In fact, I was so slow that the motion activated night lights in our bedroom and bath didn’t even come on! Oy! I know, I must be patient but after 65 years I am still short on cultivating that gift.
It also had me worried that this could become a chronic issue. Could I merely bend over to leash Liesl or pick up something that had fallen on the floor and in a split second be reduced to incapacitation once more?
Worse, was the thought that it would render me with a permanent disability?
Would I heal completely?
Worry is quick to worm its way into my being, snuffing out other moments of joy within the day. While the pain is wearing, it reminds me to seek the shelter of the one in whom all things are possible. God. Through Jesus, God reminds us not to be anxious about anything, but in everything present our requests to God. And God will guard our hearts and minds providing us with the peace of God which transcends all understanding. Phil 4:6-7. So I am working hard to admit my fears and ask for His peace and patience. Spending more time with God has in fact made my problem seem smaller and God bigger. Believing in God’s ability is far better than focusing on my shortcomings. While I am specifically asking for total healing I am thanking God for what He WILL do. Yes, folks, it’s hard to be thankful for the current situation; but I know that stress, worry and anxiety obliterates the good that still permeates my life. So I give thanks for what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do. And that leads me to a different perspective. One that beckons me to humbly submit, rest, listen and wait for the Lord (Psalm 37:7-9). This time of admission of our fears and asking God to act, all while giving thanksgiving fosters a supernatural peace and creates a calm heart and a clear mind fostering a sense of God’s loving care.
While this may feel impossible to do, I am reminded of a quote from St. Francis of Assisi. “It starts with doing what’s necessary; then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” With my faith in God, all things are possible.
For God is much bigger than our circumstances. When I find myself getting down in the dumps, I ask myself what can God do for me that I cannot do for myself? The answer? The impossible.
Time will tell whether I am completely healed or not. But armed with faith that God will work all things together for my ultimate good has brought about a peace in my circumstance. With God’s help with patience I am moving (slowly) from the fear factor to the faith factor.
When have you encountered something you feared would never resolve? How did you face your fear? What made you step away from the fear factor to the faith factor? Please share in the conversation so others may benefit.
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.