I Cant Believe They Said That!
Over the myriad of medical mayhem that I have experienced it never ceases to surprise me what some healthcare professionals will say. Some are downright funny and some are hurtful or improper.
The worse was when I was in my early 40’s, too early for menopause but nevertheless feeling and seeing some middle age spread. I was being followed by a highly esteemed oncologist for a breast lump. With a strong family history of breast cancer I was very concerned. Every month he alternated between mammograms and a needle biopsy, neither of which provided conclusive information, When I explained that my aunt, grandmother, two cousins, and mother had cancer with my mom having recently passed away; this physician said “You don’t have to worry about getting cancer because your fat and you’ll have a heart attack”. I couldn’t get out of his office fast enough, cried all the way home and needless to say never saw him again. His words punctured my heart for years and when I was diagnosed with breast cancer I wanted to march into his office and prove him wrong. Of course, five years later I did have a cardiac double bypass for coronary artery disease.
The most recent “blooper” was when my husband was found to have a massive infection in what we thought was just a dislocated shoulder. See the gory details at https://www.lorettaschoen.com/2024/uncategorized/31107/when-god-says-wait/. Once home from the hospital, I was to continue the antibiotic treatment with two daily infusions. When the Infusion company contacted us to arrange for delivery she explained that the cost of these drugs was very expensive and not completely covered by insurance. And then she asked did we want to continue to receive treatment. Now I found this astounding and funny in a perverse sort of way because I knew that without the drugs he would not get well and in fact would die a slow and agonizing death of sepsis. But those that know me, also know that I always look for the funny and I suddenly felt a giggle wanting to rise up and said – “Well, let’s see, in another month we will have been married 50 years. He’s been a pretty good husband and we’ve had a good long run. Maybe I should say “no” to the lifesaving antibiotics and see where life take me.” What a question?!?!! When I questioned the alternative she quickly clarified that she meant they could offer us a payment plan. Thad and I spent the better part of the week laughing about that conversation. Good thing he knows I love him.
Being discharged from a hospital always seems to take forever. It only takes one physician to get you admitted but once they say you can go home its like passing an act in congress. Then the surgeon, the internist, the infection disease doctor, the pharmacy, the home health agency, and the outpatient pharmacy all need their consults and forms choreographed and orchestrated. It feels like they have just loved having you and don’t want you to go. No matter how nice they are and how lovely the hospital is, the aim is to get the heck out of the hospital bed and into your own. One such visit after they had officially said that my husband was going home and discharge papers were done, we did not see ANYONE for 3 hours. When I went to the nurses station and asked someone for an update on the status of the discharge I was told by a nurse tech that “That’s above my paygrade and walked away. REALLY?!?! The correct answer should have been “Let me find someone who can help us find an answer to your question.” They later stated that since the computer said discharge was complete they felt no need for care!
Here are a few more:
“I’ll be right back.” This of course happens when you have been escorted into a subzero examining room, stripped with only a thin, too short, too small hospital gown with your legs in stirrups with only the sound of the ticking clock telling you its been an hour since they left and you have to pee.
“You look fine to me.” My mother always wore her Sunday best and full makeup when going to the doctors. It was as if she were going to an event (she was). She enjoyed the banter with physicians who had followed her for years. Then she would get in the car and cry because they really didn’t help her. A doctor should ask the patient how they are feeling rather than assume from looking at them that they are fine.
“This medication doesn’t do that to people.” What they really mean is that it is not a statistic given out by the drug company and therefore its not happening. What they might have said is “I haven’t seen any documentation with that specific side effect but let me ask you more questions, and check with colleagues as to whether their patients have experiences similar side effects.”
Or have you heard these words?
“This won’t hurt at all”
We’re just really busy.”
I understand how you feel.”
“We can’t find your chart.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing serious”
And my personal favorite – “Oops!”
Here’s what to look for in a doctor:
A doctor who greets you by name, and engages in some general conversation to help you feel at ease. A healthcare professional should have the ability to explain in laymen’s language, listen, empathized and show sympathy.
A good doctor will ask what the issues are and how they can help without dismissing the patient’s concerns.
The bottom line is that the healthcare system is an industry like any other and YOU are the consumer. When you find statements or events that are subpar it is part of your responsibility as a consumer to let the healthcare professionals know where they are failing and how they can improve their level of care. If no one speaks up – then the same low level of care will be shared with other patients. So speak up! Always respectfully, courteously and offer suggestions for change. If they don’t receive it well, find a new healthcare professional.
Listen, we have all said things that as they are coming out of our mouths we hear our brains screaming “Stop!” And the healthcare industry is run by people who are just like us but with medical training. Mistakes will happen. Bloopers will abound. But with a few tablespoons of patience, cups of medical education, heavy seasonings of humor, and bowls full of grace the journey through medical mayhem can go from stressed to blessed.
What are some of the statement you have heard healthcare professional say? How did you respond?
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.