I didn’t need another item on my “To Do” List which has lists for my list! To add to that was the flu Thad and I caught while helping to care for our two and a half year old sick grandson. I realized as my throat got scratchy on Thanksgiving Day that while I wouldn’t have traded taking care of the little guy while he was sick, it’s not something Thad and I pictured on the “Move to be closer to the grandkids brochure”. Aw heck, who am I kidding; it’s an honor to be with them – healthy or sick. But all of this season’s events have left me run down and on empty. I feel like I am trudging through an uphill mountain of mud with no boots. And now –
My evil nemesis is back. I went two years without a cellulitis infection. Then on Saturday after being a vendor at my church craft festival, with laryngitis, and still recovering from a cold there it was – red, hot, and angry. Emotionally, I felt as my skin looked. I bemoaned the fact that this was just not a good time to have to fight this again! There was a Christmas letter and cards to send, books to market and sell, packages to wrap, chores to maintain. No, this was not a good time. And really – would it ever just go away? I felt like I was forever checking for infection and trapped by worry and fear that one day the antibiotics would cease to work and I would go septic. I had been septic once before – not a feeling I cared to repeat.
But as I grabbed the high dose stock of antibiotic from my medicine cabinet I realized how blessed I was despite the discomfort and inconvenience.
The week prior, I had gone to my oncologist for my yearly checkup – a blessing in itself that I am only followed once a year now. I thought about putting it off until after the New Year but went ahead and got my mammogram scheduled as well as asked for a current prescription for the antibiotic. I replaced the outdated prescription with the new one. Just this week. Had I put it off I would have had to take an outdated antibiotic which might not have been able to hold the infection at bay until I was seen by the infectious disease physician. A physician I had researched and sought out last year when I was not currently suffering. Another blessing.
I was prepared. I knew what to do. I had a new prescription to take, an Infectious Disease Doctor to call, and an updated written history of my battles with this foe to present as soon as I could get an appointment.
And there are other blessings as well:
- The flu is through, the cellulites under control, so I will be able to enjoy Christmas without symptoms of any kind.
- The oral antibiotic is clearing up the cellulites faster than ever before and I don’t need to go on daily IV infusions! Thank you, God.
- The oral antibiotic is a different generic form of Keflex and might be stronger/better than the prior ones used. Maybe in the future, all I will need are oral antibiotics. One can hope.
God is good. While I don’t want this dreadful infection, I can see God’s good still shining through in my life while the bad is happening. I can see that while I have a genuine and realistic fear of cellulites I know that however strong the bad is, God is stronger. That while I may need reassurance and my fears flame the feelings of insufficiency; trusting in God helps me calm the storm, stare down that fear and know with certainty that God will make an unseen way clear for me.
So this holiday season I’m going to try to enjoy each item on my “To Do” list. It’s not about getting it done; it’s about enjoying the sweetness of each item and having gratitude for the ability to do them. And what if the Christmas cards and letters don’t get done? Well, then there will be more to talk about in next year’s letter.
Oh, Lord, this Christmas may we go through life not rushing and trying to cross off the items on our “To Do” list. Let us stop anticipating or expecting bad, but rather seeing the good, the kind, the gift that each can bring if we only have your eyes and heart to search for them.
Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and…the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. Exodus 14:21 NIV
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Blessings for Health & Wellness.