We live in a society that fosters independence and fear of becoming involved. We’ve all seen on the news where sometimes a good Samaritan finds themselves blamed for their involvement. So we shy away from getting involved. Many live in neighborhoods where people keep to themselves, don’t become more involved that a wave or a nod. We are just too busy, or too scared to know what might be going on next door.
I am here to tell you just how important knowing your neighbor and being a good neighbor is. It could even mean the difference between life and death.
Picture this. Your are in your pajamas, curled up on the couch with your dog snuggly against your hip watching a Hallmark movie. You’re trying to decide whether to demolish the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream that’s screaming “EAT ME!” from your freezer when out of nowhere someone starts beating on your front door and yelling your name asking for help. For a moment you consider ignoring it or feigning sleep. But then you recognize the voice and even though this person has done this before for little or no reason, maybe you should answer it anyway. You know that this neighbor has had some health issues and while once a vital member of the community and neighborhood is now declining into dementia. You open the door where she breathlessly tells you her husband has fallen in the garage and doesn’t seem to be responding. You walk into their garage and indeed you find him half on the step that leads into the house and half in the garage. You immediately call 911. The dispatcher begins to ask you questions:
“When did he fall?” I don’t know.
“Is he breathing?” No, I think he is dead.
“Is he cold to touch?” I have to touch him? What is cold and would he be cold in the hot Florida garage?
“How is he laying?” Terribly twisted and contorted.
His wife is beside her self and it’s hard to get near the husband, while trying to calm his wife and answer the dispatcher’s questions. You breathed a sigh of relief as the paramedics and first responders came on the scene. But it was short lived as they, in turn, asked even more questions that only befuddled the wife and leave you with no way to help.
“Did he have a last will and testament, a living will, advanced directives?”
The very distraught wife could only point to her husband’s office which was a “datalanche” of files and papers. You and another neighbor helped sort through and did indeed find the necessary paperwork that would direct the EMS to where to take him. You then thank God you had the sense enough all those years ago to ask for their son’s contact info just for a time such as this. You reach him and he immediately makes arrangements to travel from California to Florida. In the meantime, you quickly realize that your neighbor cannot stay alone and another neighbor steps in to say that she will stay the night if you will return in the morning until the son arrives. You readily agree.
Can you imagine such a scene? Have you been there for someone? Was a neighbor there for you? Recently a good friend of mine shared this very experience and while it was traumatic and she is still sifting through the events and emotions she felt; she is glad to have been there because that’s what neighbors do. In fact, two years ago, she was the neighbor that needed help. And neighbors showed up. Some contacted her son, others took care of her dog while she was in ICU for 15 days, others cleaned her home, brought food and visited her when she returned home. It was now her turn to be there.
I share this story not to spread drama but to illustrate the importance of knowing your neighbors.
- Know their pattern of living, be aware of their habits and schedules. In the above scenario, other neighbors mentioned that although their garage door was never left opened, that night it had been left open for more than 4 hours. Which means that the husband might have been laying in the garage that whole time. See something – say something.
- Develop a relationship with them. Some will be more personal than others; however, in an emergency most will step forward if they at least have had a conversation or two. It’s not about being nosey, folks, its about being a good neighbor. It’s about caring for another human life.
- Take an interest in who they are, their family – whether close or far. If “far flung” family visit, make it a point to introduce yourself for this can be a comfort for adult children with aging parents in another state.
While we all must respect one another’s privacy and often feel our business is no one’s business; we are called by God to help one another through this life.
When trouble develops seek to help those in trauma where able. Maybe its to take care of the pet, make phone calls notifying family, friends and/or cancelling or arranging appointments, get groceries, prepare a meal.
Don’t be afraid to just “be”. This can be a very important part – no words needs be said, but the presence of another person can say it all. We all feel like we don’t know what to say and sometimes, saying nothing but just being there is the greatest gift of all.
“We are each other’s harvest. We are each other’s business. We are each other’s magnitude and bond.” Gwendolyn Brooks.
That night was a traumatic experience for not only the wife who suddenly lost her spouse; but also for the neighbors who came to her aid during such a time. Each played a role and are still playing a role. A role that while no one wants to be in; a role that can make all the difference. Be the difference. Be a good neighbor and seek out good neighbors. Someday you may need someone to be there with you.
Stay tuned for Part II in this blog where I will define exactly how to prepare for a time such as this.
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.
Thank you for sharing a valuable experience. It gave me inspiration to know my neighbors more.
January 5, 2024 at 8:39 amThis could happen to anyone and God calls us to be help one another as we would hope to receive the same. Thank you for reading my blog.
January 5, 2024 at 11:14 amSuch a wonderful reminder. In a day and age where people are so detached from one another. This could even save your life. Take the time to just create that interaction
January 5, 2024 at 9:04 amSo true! We have become a society afraid of becoming involved. Thank you for reading my blog. Please share in hoped to make a difference.
January 5, 2024 at 11:16 am