“Checking Out” the Future
There are those in my family that feel I spend too much time thinking and talking about death and dying. Perhaps I do think about it more than most – but not in a sad or morose sort of way. I will often ask my daughter for her opinion on renovations for our home or particular household purchases I may make because whatever I have will be hers someday. “Not for a long time”, she says.
I hope she’s right because I want to share more moments, holidays, and spur of the moment coffees at WAWA or picking silk flowers for a holiday wreath or centerpiece at Michaels Craft Stores. I want to see how Francesca and Rich raise these grandsons I have fallen in love with. I want to applaud their successes, and inspire them to press on when they stumble. And if I am lucky I might even see them marry and be parents themselves. Okay, I might be pushing it. God only knows.
But life has taught me that there are a myriad of moments where my life could have ended: breast cancer, heart disease requiring a double bypass to name just two. So it pays to look ahead even as we make sure to be present in the here and now.
Being a planner and an organizer helps me to know that I am leaving this world with as little pain as possible for those I leave behind. Oh, I want them to miss me, to remember my foibles, my weird and quirky habits, my desire to help, and my capacity to love. But I don’t want them to have to clean up after me when I am gone, or make decisions that will cause them worry and suffer. Those are simple plans and decisions I can make now that will make their life easier when God calls me to a higher service.
Thinking about it helps me to value each day as a cherished gift and to prioritize what is of value in my life. Illness and the recent COVID-19 Virus have helped to bring these thoughts back to the forefront of my mind.
Jesus led by example and he tried to prepare his disciples for his departure from earth, giving them direction as to how to proceed in this life. When I think about my life I hope that I have left some examples of what to do (the good stuff) and what not to do (the mistakes and bad stuff). Learn from them both, please.
Look, don’t get me wrong – I’m not rushing it. There’s still a lot of filly in me even as my knees are starting to hurt and kneeling before God is getting more difficult. As I tell Francesca: “I can do everything I used to do – it just takes me a little longer and it hurts a whole lot more”.
Most important to me is that by acknowledging that at any time or at some time I will be “checking out” provides me with opportunities to share my life, make memories and most importantly to tell those that mean the most to me – just how much I love them.
So, if I haven’t shared my love with you (you know who you are); know that I love you to the moon and back and you live in my heart now and forever.
If you haven’t shared this sentiment with those you love, there’s no time like the present.
Thank you for reading my post. If you have found it encouraging please consider liking, commenting or sharing it. Feel free to even re-blog – may these words take flight!
I have additional insights I’d love to share with you found in the pages of my debut book: Surviving Medical Mayhem – Laughing When It Hurts. To order a copy or learn more go to my website at www.lorettaschoen.com
Blessings for Health & Wellness.